As the weather changes, I feel some part of me changes too. All of sudden, I think I just lost myself for a moment.
No more stupid jokes, No more excitement, No more smiley, No more Teen-Cheery life. I was talking monotonously to everyone including myself.
Life moves very slowly at this moment. I am running a typical ,ordinary student life. I go to classes, meet friends, and go back home. For the next day, I will do the same thing over and over again until I realize that it's already the end of the week. You can called it my boring-daily life routine. *sigh*
During winter, I was hoping summer to come faster because when it comes to summer, everything seem so joyful. I don't need to wear layers of shirt. No more winter coat, No more shivering and having an ice-cream seem so much enjoyable. But it was all in my mind back then. Apparently, Its not for now. I am still hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
When it comes to the term that I lost myself. I really don't know whether I really lost myself or this me-writing to you is the "me" that I do not discover all this while. For the last sem, My life was hectic. I greet and smile to almost everybody I met. Reading a motivational article was some sort of energy-riser in my day. Meeting people was something that I am looking forward. But now, It all has changed...
From the cappucino-lover, I became a Green-Tea type of person. My playlist changes. From rock to slow instrumental music. Instead of meet and greet people, I prefer walking straight to class without saying hello to anyone. I even did not make an eye-contact.I refrain myself from interaction with people and suddenly, I hate being in public.
Frankly speaking, I love being in the centre of attention and when I do not, I can feel that it is bizarre. That feeling which is just not right and I, really want things to become normal again. I hate being deep thinker and observant. It's tiring. There is so many things tangling in my mind and I really, really want it to solve right away. Eventhough, I know some things are meant to left unsolved.
When I come to think of it, Being away from the crowd is not so bad after all. I suddenly realize about few things that I thought was not important. I learned that stop for a moment was not a bad things that you, yourself should be punished for. It is okay to stop. think and start over. Every person has his/her ups and downs in life and me having it, is a normal situation. :)
I hope tomorrow will be a bright new day for me. I planned to jog and have a fresh juice afterwards.
Thanks for reading. Toodles~
" Language has created the word "Loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone"-Paul Tillich